My UC/Jpouch Journey UPDATE

*UPDATE 5/18/2010*
Ok, so I don't know if I jinxed myself or what, but it turns out I am now having a bit of a drawback to my recovery. I was doing great until Saturday, May 8th. I was doing alot of running around and driving that day. Well, since my colon is gone, I do have frequent bowel movements, but this wasn't a problem, because I had total control. Then, while I was driving, it happened. I had the weirdest pain. It was sudden and acute, and very painful. Felt almost like I was stabbed down in my perineal area, radiating through my rectum and vagina. It was the most pain I'd felt since my surgery. It would continue to happen intermittently until I had a bowel movement, then I would be ok again for awhile, until it started all over again. Then, that night I noticed a dark vaginal discharge. (I had a hysterectomy, so I should not have any). I instantly became worried. Was my fistula back?? The worry began to eat me up inside. I worried about what it meant if my fistula was back. Stat surgery? another ileostomy bag? At first, I didn't want to acknowledge it, maybe if I ignored it, it would just go away...no such luck. Finally on Monday, I couldn't stand it any longer, I broke down in tears and literally was freaking out. I had to know...was it really coming from my vagina? I went to Urgent care, where it was confirmed that I did have a discharge. But he didn't know if it was just a regular vaginal infection or results of a fistula? He did a vaginal culture, but the results wouldn't be back for a few days. I saw my colorectal surgeon on Thursday. Then, another pelvic exam. OH JOY! He couldnt determine if it was stool or not, and couldn't actually see a fistula (but he never has been able to visualize it, even when there was no doubt in anyone's mind that it was indeed a fistula). So he sent me home and advised I see gynecologist. Then Friday I got the call from the urgent care doctor, the culture did show "possible fecal contaminant". DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT!! So I scheduled appt with my gyn. I will be seeing Dr McCormick this Thursday....lets see what she says. My brother in law told Warren that its just a simple in out day surgery IF they can locate it. Praying it can be located and fixed....

To my daughters, Tianna Christine & Alyssa Marie!

Now that it's nearing Mother's Day
I have so much I want to say:
To the beautiful daughters of mine,
The daughters I'll always love-'til the end of time.
So, I sit here thinking of you,
reflecting upon the day my dreams came true.
That very moment I first held you in my arms
and filled my heart with all your charms.
The love I felt, I can't explain,
A love so strong, I felt absolutely insane!
I wanted to protect this lil baby of mine
with every part of me I could find.

Now as you grow to be who you are,
I am so proud of the person you are becoming so far.
I know someday you will be on your way
To explore the world, to have your say.
But this comes straight from my heart
We shall never ever be totally apart,
Because I'll always be right there by your side
To guide you on life's bumpy ride.
For as long as I can in the physical part,
And then forever and ever deep in your heart!!
~ ♥ Mom